G5 unveils new oligarchitecture
The G5 families of transnational oligopoly have announced sweeping reforms to the global financial system.
Under the plan, agreed in the Panslavonic Protectorate of North Kosovo, three online Intercontinental Casinos will reopen in Moscow, Hong Kong and Atlantic City.
The new deregulations smash the Boreham Wood Consensus, imposed at a North London Travelodge in 2009, and herald a worldwide resumption of Free Trade.
Gaming volumes are expected to return to pre-Crash levels as soon as the Rubin Tax on speculators is scrapped.
Discounting ultrainflation, open tables will accept bets up to five times the world’s economic output, with higher stakes negotiable for less trustworthy clients.
Punters in all countries will use the G5’s Silver Thaler chips, which are backed by water rights, mineral concessions and other vital resources, like guns and drugs.
Three new institutions should ensure seamless 24-hour operations, the G5 said.
Preventive protection of contracts will be enforced by the Washington-based Triad-Siloviki Complex, using offshore credit lines from the Farco-Bolivarian Syndicalate.
For additional security, counterparty risk will be cut by routing all back-office business through the Abacha Clearing House.
A spokesman for the breakaway World Bank called the proposals “a globalised gangster’s charter”. G5 officials shrugged off the charge as “nuttin but bitchin” from “playa hataz”.
