Magi retrain as loft insulators
Britain’s shift to sustainability has revived demand in the City for sleight-of-hand skills.
Figures from the London Order of Securities and Exchange Rejects (LOSER) show that masters of the guild of derivatives are now retrofitting more lofts than investment portfolios.
Lacking the traditional options available to north European peers, like fishing and heavy industry, London financiers have to live on their wits, LOSER found.
“Fortunately they’re already well acquainted with leaky housing stock,” a spokesman said.
“Plugging holes with cheap filler and hot air is their speciality.”
