Pyramid selling scam rocks government
The government was under assault from legions of retirees last night after a multi-trillion-pound Ponzi scheme collapsed.
There were calls for the resignation of Albus Dumbleby, the Lifelong Learning Secretary, some of them even forwarded to reporters by email.
This outrage is especially newsworthy because celebrities you might have heard of joined the campaign.
Although details of the fraud are impenetrable, it dates back to the start of the last century, when it was dreamed up to buy people’s votes.
Essentially, Mr Dumbleby and his predecessors are accused of taking money from generation X and spending it. They then took more money from generation Y to repay the parents of generation X, and spent the difference on creating a bigger black hole in public finances.
The same pattern would have continued forever, if enough people kept buying into the scheme. But generation Z couldn’t cover its share of the bill, leaving millions of underemployed debtors to be euthenatised.
“It’s not fair to blame us for a demographic deficit,” Mr Dumbleby told the BBC’s flagship politics show Strictly Boardroom. “We called the payments pensions because we’ve always known they’d be pensioned off.”
Unlike the scheme’s founder, Lord George David, Mr Dumbleby can’t sell his way out of trouble by hawking access to the upper chamber of Parliament.
Even at today’s prices on Gbay, all the seats in the new Senate of Westminster are worth less than one old peerage.
