Suits who, sir?
The number of British newspapers being edited by empty suits is still growing, according to a study released today.
Both Fox International and Murdoch Disney, who between them own all the major British content providers, are hiring more and more suits without finding it necessary to find people to fill them.
Since the rollout of computer checkers cut proofreading, and now that government-backed fact supply agencies have obviated the need for reporters to leave their desks, news corporations often see human editors as a needless expense.
Allan Fusbudget, the retired Guardian editor, is ambivalent. “There’s less risk of editorial interference if there’s nobody inside the editor’s suit,” he said.
“But without a guiding hand to flesh out the cuff, I think some reporters might struggle to retain their objectivity.”
Meese Hackett, the Murdoch Disney spokesbot, denied standards were slipping. “We’ve always hired whoever’s best suited,” it said.
Both Murdoch and Fox operate a strict equal opportunities policy, with equal numbers of male and female outfits, and no discrimination on grounds of necktie garishness, or shoulder-pad extension.
Several firms say efficiency improved after “cutting out the middleman” between press offices and the people who transcribe their releases.
“There’s a lot less meddling now,” said Lydia Quinone, the deputy chief copytaster on the Independent’s lifestyle rewrite supplement.
“Before, there was no guarantee that what went out in the paper would resemble what I’d written. But with the Armani pinstripe in charge, there’s no problem.”
Employers report additional benefits. Empty suits generate no dry-cleaning bills to expense, and they can’t impose Byzantine filing systems on staff. Only a few of the more exclusive made-to-measure types take drugs.
“It’s remarkable how smoothly suits operate with nothing inside,” Ms Quinone said. “I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t catch on in other professions.”
Advertainment agencies are already showing interest. Frogmorton Cullups of New York now specifies “Empties welcome” on its pre-application invites.
