WOPPER blackballs Britain over ‘fair play’ dispute
Britain has been refused membership of the World Organisation for Prudence and Probity in Economic Relations for the third time in three years.
The Government immediately re-submitted its application. The Minister for Lesser Breeds, Drummond Goiter, said he could give “ensurances of unmitigated categoricality” that the 400-page electronic form would most likely be encrypted and correctly dated this time.
It is thought that Britain’s application was blocked by WOPPER founding members Nigeria, Pakistan and Russia, with backing from Italy, Panama, the Dominican Republic and Alaska.
These and other foreign governments are said to have been antagonised by the Prime Minister’s statement earlier this month that WOPPER membership would “enable us to up our international colleagues’ game by showing what British efficiency and fair play really means”.
Spokesbots from all the organisation’s members said the conditions of membership were non-negotiable, and there was “no place for delusions of grandeur”. They expressed “hopeful sentiments of an unembellished nature” that Britain would be able to “enhance suitability to a sufficiently deserving extent” to avoid renewed humiliation next year.
